Unknown

God, here I am.  I want to faithfully pursue you today, tomorrow, the next day and forevermore.  I pray you will teach me about who I am and continue to give me courage and strength to dive into the unknown of what is my life.  I pray you will reveal the weaknesses as well as the strengths in me.  I want to know everything there is to know so that I can truly be the person you want me to be unlike anyone else.  I want to be developed emotionally, physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually.  Help me live in balance and to love greatly, to seek to understand more, and to give freely of myself.  Allow me to know how to do these things, and to understand how to truly offer what I am to others.  Help me be realistic yet filled with dreams and passion.  Help me live my life, my life.

As I reflect on my past I realize how far I really haven't come.  I mean I have learned and grown in a lot of areas, but so many things that I thought I had figured out, I realize I was only deceiving myself.  I know that I live in a dynamic relationship with You, and with others, but God I just really want to see complete 180 change.  I don't want to act in the foolish ways that I seem to get caught up in so often.  I want to be renewed and revitalized.  I want to not worry about others perceptions, to only care about how we are doing and honoring you with everything else.  Draw a picture of me that speaks to my soul and gives me understanding and wisdom.  Rid me of the things I don't understand about myself that cause me to be so dumb.  I want to discover who I really am.  Rango said it well, who am I?  Then he makes up all about who he is, and finds out it was never about him anyways.  Maybe that's my story too, that in serving others and living a life not for myself, I will understand who I really am.  God grant me that I may find places to thrive and to truly live.  That I will benefit others from my being there.  I want to be part of the new age that isn't here yet.  I want to bring the kingdom, to bring life, to bring love, to bring peace, to experience joy in all things, and to seek out how to make people around me live's suck just a little less.  God open my eyes, my heart, my mind, and body to know what I need to do when I need to.  Make me the man I long so desperately to be.  Send me a mate to push me as Pete's wife pushes him.  Give me patience and contentment.

I want to demonstrate Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.  Lord let me be affectionate, breathing life into others with my words and actions.  Let me be filled with a contentment and excitement about anything and everything that comes my way.  Exuberance about life! Let me truly understand how to live in a way that brings peace always.  Bring serenity.  Help me be faithful and persevere through all things.   To be glad to wait.  To be compassionate and understanding to others, and to share good things with them.  A sense that permeates all the actions I make. A sense that helps me understand how I affect others and myself and God.  Help me be loyal to the things I say, and not force my way in anything.  Help me direct the energy I have wisely.  I want to glorify your great name and I want to be just the right mix of what you have for me.

Build in me what I need.  Thank you God.  I believe you will take care of me in the midst of the unknown and confusion of what I see.  Allow me to not get caught up in wanting success.  Let my focus be to share my light with others.  Through green lockers, as an RA, in chapel band, as a friend, as a son, sibling, acquaintance.  Wherever it is that we go together, let me shine and give that cold cup of water to those around me.  Give me a spirit of humility and love.  No matter the outcomes, I want to trust you and be faithful.  Let me not concern myself with how others view me, positively and negatively.

I love you.  I trust you.  Make your way God.  I will follow you into the dark.